3 things to mull over when a Singapore colleague sends you friend requests online

It’s Monday morning. You’re about to chair a disciplinary meeting and your staff has just ‘liked’ your bikini selfie in Thailand over the weekend – might be a little harder to convince them about appropriate behavior now.

To be deemed social media savvy and an online thought leader, you must be able to relate to people, have an interesting online personality and engage your audience.

But how can you do this without exposing too much of your personal life and viewpoints to your community? As an employer, to what extent should you be connected to your staff on social media?

People are aware that the online sphere is less confrontational and they are often  braver and more willing to express their opinions. This ‘bravery’ can go either way – it either builds strong connections or loses them.

The biggest misconception lies in thinking that these social media relationships and conversations are insignificant because it isn’t happening face-to-face.

When I spoke to professionals in their 20s to early 30s, most said they saw online friendships, connections and sharing as being just as important as face-to-face interactions.

Reaching out to employers online was a way of building better relationships and a sign that they were interested in more than their work output, they said. Throwing a cold shoulder could potentially hold managers back from forming stronger work relationships.

Leaders saw it through different lenses. Of the leaders I spoke to, who are managing staff of various generations in Singapore, 90% said they were not comfortable with staff seeing what they were involved in, where they went and who they were outside work.

So how much do you give away online and can you really turn down connection requests without offending them?

These leaders seem to think so. And they demand so. Before nonchalantly dismissing social media requests, consider the following:

1) Who’s under the same roof?

Understanding cultural differences is key to grasping office dynamics and social media expectations. Westerners I spoke to were generally far more likely to say no to connecting on personal sites than their Asian counterparts. This stems from a Western tendency to draw clear boundaries between work life and social life.

In Asian cultures, these lines can be much more blurred. Managers in particular would not want their staff to know what they did in the weekend (or what they wore on that beach holiday).

Some managers particular those who managed younger staff contradicted this, saying it is important to engage with staff on their preferred communication channels. On the other hand, many had bad experiences, such as catching staff skiving off work via status updates.

2) What’s expected?

Just as we might change the way we dress to suit an industry or office environment, we should also monitor the information we make available to this new audience, and which platforms we use.

The banking industry, for instance, is focused on professional communication with clients and employees, and adding colleagues as LinkedIn connections is often the standard.

On the other hand, professionals in marketing and public relations industries who pride themselves on being prolific networkers are required to connect more online.

Many creative agencies also leverage social media as key tools in an age driven by online social conversations – turning down a Facebook friend request from your colleague would be difficult when you’re collectively managing several clients’ Facebook brand Pages and consulting regularly on social media strategies.

How connected are your colleagues? If every team member that you’re managing has added each other as friends, rejecting their request might be perceived as  a bit snobbish.

3) Online housekeeping

Finally, every few months, after accepting dozens of new friends, followers and Linkedin connections, it’s a good idea to run a quick audit of your audience.

If you’ve connected with a few new clients, it’s worth looking at what they can see of your profile, and if there is anything you would like to hide, or reword.

You might find your Twitter account morphing from a place to connect with friends to one promoting the great things your company is doing.

If you pick up industry-related followers in the process, it’s probably best to quit the lewd interactions with your old high-school buddies. Make full use of your “block” tool, and friend lists and politely ask friends who tag you in inappropriate posts to kindly stop.

Remember there are other ways to get to know colleagues at a more personal level – you can share your highlights of your weekend getaway over lunch breaks to Friday night drinks, without exposing pics of you raving or baring all at the beach. Perhaps start at the water cooler, and move your way online, rather than the other way around.